Here I sit, drinking coffee. Coffee is my favorite beverage. You may have figured that out already, thanks to my avatar. (That particular picture is of a mug of delicious mochaccino that was as big as my head!) Is caffeine good for me? Is it good for anyone? Who knows? Not I.
I do know that my 1 mug of caffeinated coffee per day generally helps dispel the fibro fog. That’s close enough to caffeine being “healthy,” in my opinion. After that first mug of the day, any coffee I drink is decaf. I can’t handle very much caffeine. In fact, if I have even decaf coffee after dinner, I will usually have trouble falling asleep.
Coffee has been the theme of my day so far. I went out for coffee with my mom today at our local bookstore cafe. I am so glad I made it out. It’s been a rough week – I’ve been having a flare since last Monday (or was it Sunday? Not sure now). I haven’t gotten out much, and I’ve missed out on some things I really wanted to do. Today, I did what I wanted to do, and my mom and I had a really nice time. Afterward, I was in terrible pain, but it was worth it.
It’s so hard to gauge what will be “worth it” and what won’t, though. There are so many factors involved. For instance, I was supposed to go to a Crafting Circle last Thursday night – something I’d been greatly looking forward to. Unfortunately, it was far enough away (20-30 minutes by car, which is usually too much driving for me) that I’d have had to get a ride, and although someone very kindly offered, it could have been a problem. Getting there would have been OK. What I was worried about was having to stick with someone else’s timing (I despise having to make people leave early on my behalf, though I probably would have done it if I’d needed to and then felt bad about it afterward), and about being in so much pain by the time I knew I had to leave that the ride back would’ve been hell.
Also, I was feeling terrible already, I hadn’t been able to knit at all for several days, and I had to be somewhat conscious for the next day’s coaching session.
I hate having so many things to consider when it comes to making plans, but it’s a necessity for me, and for so many others with chronic pain and/or illnesses. If I don’t consider these things, I may wind up feeling worse – and if I’m already feeling bad, “worse” may mean debilitating. I think I made the right decision this time, but one can never really know, which is the hardest part about it. I’m always left thinking, “What if I had gone and it had been fine?” I can only make educated guesses based on past experience.